The only thing we control is ourselves

Master the Art of Leading Yourself

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What readers say about Where's My Free Lunch ?

"Where’s my Free Lunch? As a small business owner, I often wish that running a team could be a little… easier. In this book, Eddie Ross gives clear insight and practical examples of how to face key challenges in the workplace. He introduces the unique idea of developing “Me-pathy”, which he describes as recognizing the impact that we have on others."
Jennifer
Product Manager, Sisyphus
This book encourages self-reflection on leadership style, highlighting key traits like adaptability and empathy. It introduces ‘Me-pathy’ and emphasizes that true leadership is about inspiring, not just managing, others. A quick, insightful read for today’s leaders.
Koray Okumus
UX Designer, Circooles
"This book helped me realize that leadership requires self-awareness, strong communication skills, and a fair amount of effort. Spoiler alert: There is no free lunch!"
Mollie Hall
Web Developer, Sisyphus
"Simple and immensely profound. I find myself applying and referring back to concepts and frameworks from ‘Where’s My Free Lunch?’ constantly in almost every business scenario… and more importantly, in almost every life scenario as well.."
Portrait of a woman
Olivia Rhye
Head of Design, Layers
"Where’s my Free lunch?’ is that rarest of business books, - mixing pithy real-world insights into corporate life and career building with a life-loving sprinkle of wit, warmth and humanly scaled wisdom..."
David
Head of Design, Layers
""Where’s my free lunch” offers a fresh approach to leadership, breaking down complex ideas into simple, practical advice. It’s a great read for both new and seasoned leaders, with real-world examples that make leadership concepts easy to grasp."
Lyle Kauffman
Data Engineer, Catalog

What will this book teach you?

THE TOP 30

The ’Top 30’ are thirty short key ideas that appear through the book. They are quick and easy to read and take on board, and perhaps tempt you in to read more…
Me-pathy
Me-pathy is the ability to see yourself through the eyes of others. Empathy is about understanding others — me-pathy is understanding how others perceive you.

By increasing your me-pathy, you can become more aware of your impact on those around you, which is essential for effective communication and to build trust.

It encourages leaders to reflect on their behaviors and actions, ensuring that their intentions align with how they are perceived.

This self-awareness of external perceptions can help leaders adjust their approach to better connect with their team, inspire confidence, and foster an environment where others feel understood and respected.
Leadership starts with you
What’s your definition of Leadership? Is it about leading others? Well yes, it certainly can be. But before you start to lead anyone else - you need to be able to lead yourself. Do you really understand your own strengths and weaknesses? As a leader? As a person?

Every one of us has the opportunity to demonstrate great leadership behaviors in all the interactions we have every day. How you manage yourself, how you treat your bosses, how you interact with your colleagues, clients, or partners and yes… how you lead teams of people that report up to you.

Who do you need to outrun?
When you want to achieve an objective (a sales pitch, an important presentation, a job interview…), how carefully do you ask yourself exactly what is needed? How carefully do you define success? The more you do that, the more likely you are to achieve it. By trying to do too much, you may completely miss your target.
Perception is reality
When we want to achieve something, we should start by remembering that what others see, feel, and believe is their reality - even if you see something totally different and also believe you have the facts to prove it. They are not "wrong" - just see things differently from you.
You only control yourself
Are others getting in the way of what you need or want? Our tendency is to feel that others need to change. They need to realize that their behavior is unreasonable, or their performance is not good enough. It can be frustrating when they don’t listen and whatever we say or do, nothing seems to change, and they carry on exactly the same. Is the answer to try to get them to move, or for you to choose a different path?
Transformation coach

Eddie Ross

Know more about the author

Eddie Ross, founder of EPR Business International specializes in business strategy and transformation through team and individual executive coaching.

He has had a long career spanning a number of industries, and has extensive senior leadership experience in international strategy, marketing, communication and eCommerce.
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He works with senior business leaders to optimize their leadership ambitions, skills, engagement, communication and productivity via an action-oriented approach.
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Eddie has an MSc Masters degree in Consulting & Coaching for Change from Oxford University, UK & HEC Paris, France and a BSc undergraduate degree in Systems Management from City University, London, and was trained by the Coach Training Institute and FocalPoint Business Coaching.

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WHERE´S MY FREE LUNCH

PART 1

Becoming a good leader of yourself as all leadership starts with
self-leadership and managing ourselves
I. SELF LEADERSHIP AND ME-PATHY
Learn how to lead yourself effectively by developing self-awareness and understanding your impact on others through "Me-Pathy." This chapter will help you master personal responsibility and understand how others perceive your leadership.
II. YOUR PERSONAL BRAND PERCEPTION
Discover how to shape and manage your personal brand to stand out as a leader. Learn how to align your strengths, actions, and communication to build a positive perception that supports your leadership journey.
III. MANAGING YOURSELF
In this chapter, you’ll learn practical strategies for managing your emotions, building healthy habits, and maintaining discipline. Discover how to balance work and personal life to become a more effective leader.
IV: CHOICES YOU MAKE
Learn how to make intentional decisions that align with your values and long-term goals. This chapter will guide you in making choices that lead to growth, ensuring that your actions reflect what you truly want for your future.
V. MANAGING YOUR TIME AND YOUR AMBITIONS
Time management is key to achieving your goals. This chapter provides tools for prioritizing tasks, staying focused on your ambitions, and using your time efficiently to maximize both productivity and personal fulfillment.
VI. BECOME A MASTER COMMUNICATOR
Effective communication is essential for leadership. Learn how to communicate with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. This chapter will help you connect with your audience, inspire through storytelling, and build trust through active listening.
PART 2

Other people and managing them effectively
VII. OUR MOST IMPORTANT ASSET
People are your greatest asset in leadership. This chapter will show you how to understand, motivate, and effectively manage your team by valuing each individual's unique strengths, ensuring everyone is engaged and contributing to collective success.
VIII. GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (OR NEED) FROM OTHERS
Learn strategies to get what you need from others in a positive and effective way. This chapter provides insights on influencing, negotiating, and creating win-win situations that benefit both you and your team.

VIIII. SETTING GOALS AND GIVING FEEDBACK
Discover how to set clear, achievable goals and provide constructive feedback that helps others grow. This chapter will guide you in creating a culture of accountability and continuous improvement through well-defined objectives and effective communication.
X. WHAT PEOPLE WANT AND NEED
Understand the fundamental needs of the people you lead. In this chapter, you will learn how to motivate your team by addressing their core desires, fostering a sense of belonging, and providing them with purpose and recognition.
XI. CULTURE EATS STRATEGY
A strong culture is more powerful than any strategy. This chapter emphasizes how to create and nurture a positive organizational culture that supports success, where people feel valued, motivated, and aligned with the company’s mission.
XII. BEING A GOOD BOSS
Learn the key traits of being a good boss who inspires, supports, and challenges their team. This chapter provides practical advice on balancing empathy with authority, making tough decisions, and creating an environment where your team can thrive.
XIII. YOUR OWN PHILOSOPHY OF LEADERSHIP
Discover how to develop your unique leadership philosophy. This chapter will help you reflect on your experiences, values, and beliefs, guiding you to create a personal approach to leadership that resonates with your authentic self and aligns with your goals.
PART 3

Leading Business, Change andTransformation
XIV. Everything is change
Change is a constant in business and life. This chapter will help you understand the inevitability of change and how to prepare yourself and your organization to adapt effectively, turning challenges into opportunities.
XV. You want, or need, to transform. So where are you going?
Successful transformation starts with a clear vision. Learn how to define your destination before beginning a transformation journey, ensuring you have a clear direction and a roadmap to guide you and your team through the process of meaningful change.
XVI. Executing a transformation
Transformation plans are only successful with the right execution. This chapter provides practical steps for leading a transformation, focusing on building effective teams, staying outcome-driven, and managing the challenges of change implementation.
XVII. About coaching
Coaching is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. In this chapter, discover how coaching can help leaders unlock potential in themselves and others, providing guidance, accountability, and a pathway to success.
PART 4

Some more philosophical, big picture ideas. Eddie’s own favorite stories, examples, metaphors, models and ideas.
XVIII. No such thing as a free luncH
:)

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